I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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