do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
