Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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