i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
