The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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