Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
