READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize