Quick, to the slutcave!
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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