I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
