I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize