i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
