she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
