I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize