Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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