i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
try to milk me bitch
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