she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
