the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Operation Purity has been aborted
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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