Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
