please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
a search helicopter?!
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
