Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
