i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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