He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize