I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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