you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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