Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
