my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
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