just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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