he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
