I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
is this the sara with the beer cane?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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