so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize