so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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