How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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