The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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