Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
