my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
