first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
