I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize