How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
