There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Bring me that man meat
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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