I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
