proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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