her facebook's as public as her vagina
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
