ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
