3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
