I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize