Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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