This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
