I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
