and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
