my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
