Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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