If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
