So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Sorry about my life...
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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