I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
