cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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