I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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