PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
