Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
