There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
