Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
