im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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