I just made out with a guy for $7.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize