maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
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