is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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