"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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