I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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