I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
