It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
