FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
