grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize