He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
We smell like vodka and hangover
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
