pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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